The Best and Funniest Dad Tweets of the Week - Fatherly
Being a dad has one of two outcomes connected your creativity: it either kills it completely or forces every ounce of originality you always had into pithy observations and sly comebacks. Some of US keep these asides to ourselves, others test them out on our partners. But the bravest among us hit up Twitter.
Twitter is a social media political program that Crataegus oxycantha appear to be primarily made up of confusing memes and wild youths, but there are a lot of cool parents on there, too. Operating theatre at the least we think we'ray cool. Dads use Twitter to share the queer, silly, frustrating, and truthful events that happen in their lives. Roughly of them are famous. Some of them are Twitter-famous. Some of them are some. One thing is unquestionable: all of them are funnier than any of U.S.A.
And whether you are a brand new pop Oregon a experient veteran in the parenting game, it always helps to laugh along with these hilarious dudes who are going finished the same wonderful rabidity that comes with trying to heighten a tiny human being. Therewith in mind, here a few of the best and funniest daddy tweets from this week, including how parenting is like taking a test, the subtle ways vocabulary changes when you have kids, and why you should never Army of the Righteou your chaff use your phone for likewise long
Phone It In
Crazy how my 3-twelvemonth-old tush like an expert channelize the Humanoid operating system but buns't put on a thumb flop.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) Feb 18, 2019
Job Healthy Done
Parenting confession: Sometimes I say "Dainty job!" to my kids when really they just did an adequate job.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) February 18, 2019
New Look
Drove my girl to train and en route she wanted to "contain my phone" and now I've right complete she futzed with my Bitmoji avatar: motion picture.twitter.com/6qU3MFU1YO
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) February 21, 2019
Baby Steps
3-year-past: It's a good-bye!
Me: Wherefore?
3: I didn't put back my shirt along backwards!
Start with the easily goals.
— James Breakwell, Increasing Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 21, 2019
Dad to the Bone
Fed the dogs and directly I'm imbibing vodka and eating peanuts like a goddamned daddy
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) February 21, 2019
Do the Hustle
Most of being a pop is just remembering to say "sting" instead of "hurry."
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) Feb 21, 2019
No Saddle
No parenting Quran tells you how to get pudding away of the charging embrasure of an iPad.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 20, 2019
The Tooth Hurts
wife: sorry, just the OBGYN said no sex for 6 weeks after accouchement
Pine Tree State: okey, what about–
wife: my dental practitioner said 6 weeks too
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) February 20, 2019
In a Pinch
My toddler started playing this new game where he pinches my fat and laughs. It's like helium teamed up with my self loathing and I'll be dependable, fuck them both.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) February 19, 2019
Leveling along a Curve
Parenting while sick is like trying to take a test without a pencil
Or paper
In a divergent linguistic process
While your teacher pees on the floor and laughs at you.
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) February 21, 2019
https://www.fatherly.com/play/best-funniest-dad-parenting-tweets-of-the-week-feb-22/
Source: https://www.fatherly.com/play/best-funniest-dad-parenting-tweets-of-the-week-feb-22/